


Bucky Hates Wade

by ConstantWriter85



Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes and the 21st Century, Explicit Language, F/M, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sexual Harassment, Threats of Violence, a poor attempt at comedy by the writer, bucky barnes respects women, steve rogers is so done with this shit, superhero landing, wade wilson likes to push peoples buttons, wade wilsons mouth needs its own warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29401557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantWriter85/pseuds/ConstantWriter85
Summary: Bucky is not a fan of Wade’s potty mouth.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Wade Wilson & Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 90





	Bucky Hates Wade

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This was a prompt from Tumblr--Bucky Barnes getting fed up with Wade's comments about the Reader. This is my first try writing for Deadpool, he’s one of my favorites but he’s got such a unique sense of humor, I struggled with this one a bit. I really hope I did it justice!

“Who the hell is that?”

“Better yet, _what_ the hell is that?”

You leaned forward in your seat at the back of the Quinjet, just in time to see a six-foot man in a red leather suit exit the elevator and make his way across the tarmac. Or, to be more precise, _skip_ his way across the tarmac.

“Oh, that’s just Wade,” you laughed.

Bucky scowled. “What’s a Wade, and why is he skipping?”

“He’s on loan from the X-Men, he’s helping Banner out with some project. Something about the effects of gamma radiation on physical mutations.”

“Yeah, but why is he skipping?” Sam asked.

“He’s a little…odd.”

As if to prove your point, Wade jumped up, grabbed the edge of the ramp, and executed a perfect summersault midair.

“Here we go—super hero landing!” he cried as he dismounted in a stunningly accurate impression of Iron Man.

Bucky snorted, unimpressed. “What—he’s coming with us, or something?”

Nobody had the chance to answer though, because Wade suddenly took a look around at the other Avengers who were already suited up and seated, and whooped.

“Goddamn! It’s like an S&M rave party in here! Should’ve told me, I would’ve worn my other suit.”

“You look like you’ll fit in just fine,” Sam said dryly.

“What, this old thing? I only wear this for decapitating low level henchmen and on every other Tuesday. No—my super awesome mega bad guy killing suit— _that’s_ the one I should’ve worn.”

Everyone was looking at Wade like he’d grown a second head. Which, given his mutant abilities, wasn’t far from the realm of possibilities. You giggled at your old friend, seeing him once again in his element.

Right at the center of attention.

Wade turned and gasped theatrically when he saw you. “Oh my stars and anal beads, is that Y/N?! Little Y/N from Philly? Whose balls did you have to fondle to get on this team? Last I heard you were takin’ it long and hard from the C.I.A.”

Immediately, Bucky was on his feet, stepping in front of you with fists clenched.

“You better watch your fucking mouth,” he growled.

You bit your lip and tugged on his jacket. “Bucky, it’s okay. It’s just Wade.”

“Ooh! What’s a Bucky?! I want one! Sounds like something that should vibrate—ribbed for her pleasure.”

Bucky’s face had flushed a dangerous shade of crimson. Pretty much the entire compound—including you—knew about the crush he had on you, but for some reason he had never acted on it. Bucky had been through a lot though, you knew, and he would act on it if and when he wanted to. You weren’t about to push him.

Wade, however, was all about pushing people’s buttons.

He sidestepped the posturing super soldier and held his arms open for a hug. “C’mere, you.”

You laughed and shook your head, gripping him tightly. “Wade Wilson, it’s been too long. How’s Vanessa? Still working at the club?”

“Nah, she gave that up. Now she’s vaccinating puppies and rescuing orphans…or is it rescuing puppies and vaccinating orphans…”

You giggled again, and he shrugged. “Okay, you got me. She still works there. But enough about her—let’s talk about you! My god! Look at how you’re filling out that suit! My little Y/N—a five course meal at least—that ass looks good enough to eat!”

He held you at arm’s length, hooded face scanning up and down your body. You knew it was harmless fun, but behind you Bucky’s arm was whirring in agitation.

“How about you?” you countered. “You still look like Freddy Krueger fucked a topographical map of Utah?”

“Ouch—low blow. You still offerin’ up the ol’ five knuckle shuffle behind the Denny’s for gas money?”

Now Bucky stepped in, his anger palatable. “Shut the hell up.”

“Ooh—so angry.”

“You don’t speak to women like that.”

You quickly stepped between the two men before they could come to blows. You placed a hand on each of their chests, forcing them apart. “Bucky, stop. You—down, boy.”

Wade straightened and held out his hand. “I really feel like we got off on the wrong foot, Bucky. I’m Deadpool. Or, Mr. Pool, if you prefer.” Then he leaned in and said in a loud stage whisper, “I’m lovin’ the saucy little leather number, by the way—it really brings out the murder in your eyes.”

“I’m gonna cave his face in.”

You wearily pinched the bridge of your nose. “Honestly, that would probably just excite him more.”

A couple more barbs tossed between the two and they were on the deck of the Quinjet, rolling down the ramp locked in a death-grip as they tried their very best to kill each other. While Wade was clearly no match for Bucky, the super soldier soon found out that whatever damage he did to the mutant healed almost instantly.

“Hey! What the hell’s going on here?!”

Steve’s voice rang through the cabin like thunder. Bucky and Wade froze, the latter wrapped in a headlock and trying to reach for his sword. Bucky growled and tightened his arm with an audible crack of bones.

“Bucky!”

Immediately, the two men released each other, looking for all the world like two little kids caught tussling during recess. They both pointed at each other. “He started it.”

Steve grit his teeth. “Both of you on the jet—now.”

As Steve brushed past them up the ramp, you ran up to Bucky. He had picked himself up off the ground, brushing his pants off with a withering glare at Wade. A bruise was starting to form over his right cheekbone and his lip was split, but other than that he looked unharmed. He saw your concern, though, and his shoulders fell.

“I’m sorry, doll.”

“Don’t be. I know Wade’s a lot to handle.”

“I don’t like how he talks to you. It’s not respectful, no man should speak to a lady like that.”

“It’s okay, Buck—”

“I would _never_ treat you like that. You—you’re kind and sweet and beautiful and should be given the _world_ and if you were mine—”

You cut him off with a kiss. Bucky choked, eyes going wide before he positively melted, a low moan escaping his lips before they parted and he pulled you in deeper. You smiled and he did too, lost in each other’s touch as the entire Quinjet clapped and whistled.

Finally, you came up for air. “Took you long enough.”

His eyes went wide, a broad grin lighting up his face. “Yeah? You’d want to be my girl?”

“Why Sergeant Barnes, I thought you’d never ask.”

“Aww…just like a Hallmark Movie,” came a simpering sigh from the jet. Bucky’s jaw clenched, but you turned his head back towards you.

“Ignore him. Wade’s an old, old friend, and he’s basically got no filter. He’s lewd, he’s crass and offensive, but I give it right back to him. We joke around together, but if it bothers you, I’ll ask him to stop.”

“It really doesn’t upset you?”

“No. You know I’ve got a bit of a potty mouth anyway, it shouldn’t come as a surprise.”

Bucky considered that and chuckled. “You do at that, that’s what I like about you. I just didn’t like him saying those things about you. But if it doesn’t bother you, then I guess I’m okay with it.”

“Okay,” you smiled. Bucky leaned down, pressing another lingering kiss to your lips, and Steve cleared his voice loudly.

“If you’re quite finished, we’re ready to leave.”

The two of you walked up the ramp together. Wade stepped up to Bucky, shoulders squared and head held high. He held out his hand.

“Sergeant Barnes, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine. And I can see it bothers you, so I promise I will not make any more comments about Y/N ever again.”

Bucky took Wade’s hand, lips tilting in a crooked grin. “All right, Wade.”

“Friends?”

“Don’t push it.”

Everyone took their seats. You sat next to Bucky and he took your hand, interlacing your fingers. The jet climbed higher and higher, both of you smiling at each other and lost in the possibilities of a new relationship.

Wade was seated next to Bucky, though, and he lasted all of five minutes. He leaned over towards super soldier, resting his chin in one hand.

“So—tall, dark and homicidal…what’s it gonna take to get those luscious, juicy thighs wrapped around my head?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on Tumblr @constantwriter85


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